Saturday, March 1st, 2014

The Immodest Airlander

There are many impressive sites to be taken in from British motorways, not the least of which are the two gigantic aircraft hangars at Cardington in Bedfordshire. I must have first seen these as a child on the journey north to some holiday or other, and I remember my father telling me the history of the R100 and R101 as we drove on. It was the kind of story impossible for a young boy not to be captivated by, considering the scale of the vehicles involved. Inevitably, in its dramatic demise, R101 entered aviation folklore – and lodged itself in my memory – with a power with which the rather more mundanely disposed of R100 never could.

Emerging this week from the hangars, a new type of vehicle: an airship-aeroplane hybrid, the Airlander. Originally conceived and designed as a surveillance platform for use by the US military in Afghanistan, but since de-budgeted, it’s new sponsors are attempting to rebrand it as a potential civilian transport, and more importantly, as a humanitarian relief vehicle. The rebranding is somewhat undermined by their own PR video, which still references its surveillance potential, a silly and regrettable faux pas: from humanitarian deliverance to military hardware, the Airlander apparently gives life in one part of the world, while taking it away in another, all in one versatile package. ‘Twas ever thus, I suspect, with aviation design.

The vehicle, as presented to the press this week, seems to consist of several sausage-like sections glued together. An unfortunate consequence of its construction is that from behind – without the modesty skirt depicted in other PR shots, which smooths out its form and lends it a more futuristic, integrated look – it resembles a grotesque, Jeff Koons-style human backside. Moreover, it’s the backside of somebody bending over, and all that would be needed to complete this indiscretion would be some crosswind-induced tail-end waggling. Nobody seems to have thought this through before inviting in the press photographers for their tour of inspection.